On whether or not to go into Nursing - my passion, my call of duty, the desire that I feel the strongest about? Ugh. I keep tip toeing around it, pitter pattering on the cold floors of the grand ole hospital ward in my mind. I want this and yet I keep getting so distracted, I keep not being real, real with myself or well, anyone really. I am sick, I am sad, I am depressed. In the past year, I have been on SAP probation, I have been on SAP FAILURE due to complications of my pregnancy (details below) (the sickness that you feel in the pit of your stomach not knowing if you can even afford to go back to school if you aren't granted aid). THANK THE LORD JESUS, I completed my appeal, met with my advisor to begin my academic plan AGAIN, and phew I can go back to school. I became pregnant with my 4th, yep 4TH child after having my tubes tied three years ago, WHO GOES THROUGH THAT??? Got a beautiful baby boy out of that though:-) I lost 100 + pounds only to gain it back during my pregnancy. I have high blood pressure and am medicated to regulate it. I now have GOUT, yep GOUT at 31 (not to say that this doesn't happen to the younger crowd - it obviously does), but my husband keeps reminding me that I am no longer apart of the younger crowd. lol - How depressing. Needless to say I am now medicated for GOUT! ugh, I AM OBESE - probably the culprit, most certainly the culprit. About a month ago, I thought I changed my career goal to business management since I have been an executive assistant since like forever - HELL NO! BORING - Kudos to those that love business, policy, administration, finance, etc. Hey my husband is an accountant and I know first hand - I AIN'T DOING THAT! Then for a brief stint, I thought well I could become an Elementary School teacher, certainly need more passionate teachers, but uhhhhh NO! I most certainly will not - AGAIN KUDOS to those who teach, but there aren't enough holidays or summer breaks in the year. I love all my children's teachers and they are going to be blessed for what they do - but I am home with my hyperactive children all day on the weekend and I kiss Monday morning on the forehead, so dang sure know that I couldn't (could if my life depended on it - but it doesn't :-) handle being a teacher all day. Maybe if you gave me a handful of Nursing wannaabe's in my later life - let's say over 19 yrs of age, then we'll talk about a teaching career.
AND one last thing - if you hear the craziness that I had to withstand before even finding out about my pregnancy and learning of my precious little boy, you will know why I absolutely need to go into Nursing and why even through all of my doubts inevitably will always know that I am to be a NURSE.