Newtown

Pray for Newtown

Goodnight

Is your semester over too?

OH MY GOOD LORD ABOVE! Thank you JESUS! It is finally ova! Do I sound excited? Well if I don't - let me try that again. WOOO HOOO it's finished, uh huh, it's finished! Alright now that I am calm, here's the breakdown:
Poli Sci (A) (FINALLY!!!)
Algebra (B) (I'll take it)
ART (A)

Okay, how many remember my struggle in math? I may have mentioned it about a gazillion times on here. NO MO! LOL. I'll be taking Stats in the Spring and I know that is a whole other monster to tackle. So for the Spring:
Chemistry and Lab
Fitness for living (WTH??)
Statistics

Does anyone see something wrong with this picture? Let's pray I make it through Stats and Chem together. My brain literally feels like it is going to split. I can't wait to enjoy my holiday off (both work and school) - can someone come and borrow my children too? lol

Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!!!!!!!!

Grades - Fall Semester 2012

Okay, so I am starting off a little shakey. I need to get focused. First tests of the semester: Math 1111 (ugh I really need to get through it this time and not withdraw) (85) on first test, Political Science (75) on first test but exceptional posts (taking it online). I also have an ART class, but the class is so random - you can choose 4 posts (also online) and respond for the entire semester. Ugh I cannot function like that - ADHD, I need to meet you with every week professor! I know I can do better and I will do better - heck my career depends on it! How about you share (or rather PLEASE SHARE) your studying techniques, organization skills, etc. (I swear I may have asked this in another post 2 years ago, lol).

I thought about trying to combine my daily life (outside of school) really in depth -family, work, etc. on my blog, but I'm sorry this is where I want to come to just be free and not really worry about giving the updates of the day to day juggles unless I absolutely feel it necessary or let's say someone asks... I am sure my posts will get more exciting the further into the process I get - but I will be honest, when I was searching for posts on Nursing School students, nurses, doctors, etc. no one really goes into detail on the "beginning" process, pre - reqs, apps, going the traditional route. I've read alot about direct entry, bridging, lpn-rn, students without children, already being in a program, etc. (I love the word etcetera). I am none of those - i am a non traditional 31 year old with 4 babies, no previous degree of any sort, a full time job, a husband and FULL responsibilities. I get nervous and sick as all get out whenever I think about having to actually give up my steady paycheck that I have received for the past 7 years with my company to begin full Nursing School. Who does that??? Am I whining? I am whining.

Sidebar: I cannot wait until Season 9 of Grey's hits!!!!!!!!! I have waited all summer for this - I tried to replace, well not replace (you just can't replace Grey's) okay, compensate with watching NYMed, while good - uhhh hello bring back some more episodes - I am sure it was just a feeler to see if the good people like it. Yes we do! But Grey's HECKS YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

So Excited!

It is so much fun to log into my blog and see so many people interested in what I find to be interesting - NURSING! For a moment I got a little frustrated and didn't want to be bothered with blogging. Didn't think I had anything that interesting to say. But I can honestly say I was totally wrong. This is where I can freely pour my heart on the table (as much as HIPAA will allow:-) and if I am judged so what, you are able to freely pour your heart on the table as well even if that means judging. I have been given a second opportunity to share my experiences as I journey into my career that I call a passion. The road is a long one ahead - some have already traveled it and some are taking the same journey as I am, but through guidance, advice, tears, laughter, encouragement and everything in between it will be well worth it when we can proudly clock in with RN behind our names.

Moments

Wanted to wish everyone a memorable Labor Day! Cherish each moment that you have with your family.
***Welcome to Curlygirl - thanks for hanging out at my blogspot! Hope you enjoy and looking forward to hearing your thoughts!!

All Clean

My hubby managed to get the virus cleaned off of the laptop, however this included having to bring the laptop back to manufacturer conditions. All of our pictures have now floated off into oblivion. I guess now by instinct I will make sure we BACK EVERYTHING UP! My heart is broken. Hubby says the memories are kept where they matter most - in our mind. Yeah - that even sounds stupid. I want all of the cake in the face pictures, the marathon pictures, the pictures of me looking like a moose in my gorgeous hospital gown giving birth to all of our children. Did I really not save anything? I do get to go and purchase a new netbook for my classes this semester, my husband believes this will make it up to me. I doubt it...

My Son

The little man who evidently knew that he was going to be coming into this world, even when his parents were being told otherwise... Last July, after running a marathon, after losing over 100 pounds and after totally giving up all hopes of ever having anymore children - we got the surprise of our lives. God knows how to really show you who is in charge. My tubes were tied via tubal ligation three years ago. Cut, snipped, burned, crushed, etc. This little human being still managed to make his way through. I knew in my heart that I had him in my belly, even when I was placed on hormones to have aunt flow drop me a visit. Do you know that doctor swore up and down that I couldn't possibly be pregnant? I left the doctors' office more confused than when I arrived. Nothing like relief of being pregnant when you have hurled your dinner every night for 5 weeks and craved pizza to boot - all without knowing why your body has now become the enemy. I literally thought I was dying from some sort of unknown infection - BECAUSE NO ONE COULD UNDERSTAND HOW I COULD BE PREGNANT AFTER A TUBAL. Well let me tell you for those who don't believe it - I am proof that it most certainly does and unless you know the ins and outs of your body, you will believe that the moon is orange and that your body is a barren field for flies. My son is beautiful, growing strong and proves to be a miracle everyday. Believeably, he is the reason my passion for Nursing has gotten so much stronger that it drowns out any other thought. He is the reason that my heart is guiding me towards Midwifery. My little miracle can be anyone's little miracle. I am ready to help give back...

Viruses

Contracted a pretty nasty virus on my laptop, turned my entire screen black. Wonder if we have now lost every last holiday picture, birth, family life changing moment that we as a family have ever experienced together. Safe to say that the a holes that are smart enough to figure out how to completely wipe out a family's most cherished memories with the click of a button need to find a river to go jump into - leave the life jacket behind. So I now sit here trying to type on my Nook which either these keys are entirely too small or I have giant fingers. This does not work...

How many times do I need confirmation?

On whether or not to go into Nursing - my passion, my call of duty, the desire that I feel the strongest about? Ugh. I keep tip toeing around it, pitter pattering on the cold floors of the grand ole hospital ward in my mind. I want this and yet I keep getting so distracted, I keep not being real, real with myself or well, anyone really. I am sick, I am sad, I am depressed. In the past year, I have been on SAP probation, I have been on SAP FAILURE due to complications of my pregnancy (details below) (the sickness that you feel in the pit of your stomach not knowing if you can even afford to go back to school if you aren't granted aid). THANK THE LORD JESUS, I completed my appeal, met with my advisor to begin my academic plan AGAIN, and phew I can go back to school. I became pregnant with my 4th, yep 4TH child after having my tubes tied three years ago, WHO GOES THROUGH THAT??? Got a beautiful baby boy out of that though:-) I lost 100 + pounds only to gain it back during my pregnancy. I have high blood pressure and am medicated to regulate it. I now have GOUT, yep GOUT at 31 (not to say that this doesn't happen to the younger crowd - it obviously does), but my husband keeps reminding me that I am no longer apart of the younger crowd. lol - How depressing. Needless to say I am now medicated for GOUT! ugh, I AM OBESE - probably the culprit, most certainly the culprit.  About a month ago, I thought I changed my career goal to business management since I have been an executive assistant since like forever - HELL NO! BORING - Kudos to those that love business, policy, administration, finance, etc. Hey my husband is an accountant and I know first hand - I AIN'T DOING THAT! Then for a brief stint, I thought well I could become an Elementary School teacher, certainly need more passionate teachers, but uhhhhh NO! I most certainly will not - AGAIN KUDOS to those who teach, but there aren't enough holidays or summer breaks in the year. I love all my children's teachers and they are going to be blessed for what they do - but I am home with my hyperactive children all day on the weekend and I kiss Monday morning on the forehead, so dang sure know that I couldn't (could if my life depended on it - but it doesn't :-) handle being a teacher all day. Maybe if you gave me a handful of Nursing wannaabe's in my later life - let's say over 19 yrs of age, then we'll talk about a teaching career.

AND one last thing - if you hear the craziness that I had to withstand before even finding out about my pregnancy and learning of my precious little boy, you will know why I absolutely need to go into Nursing and why even through all of my doubts inevitably will always know that I am to be a NURSE.

Cough, Cough ACKK! Oh wait, let me dust the dust off... I'm bizackkkkk! hopefully for longer than I have been staying around:-(

UNDER CONSTRUCTION!

In order to optimize your viewing pleasure, I have decided to "redecorate" Mom, Wife, Student, Nurse, Ahhh! before the Fall semester roars in like a lion. Be patient while I get creative!

Okay, so I'll combine them all!

With all the great ideas I am getting, I am thinking I may combine them all and make a power list for us all... With of course the okay from my buddies that are giving me all the great tips. Speaking of, Heather over at http://nurse-2-bee.blogspot.com/ has some great advice, check her out I am sure you will find it helpful as I have!

Loving the Organization Ideas!

Please keep them coming!

Thanks Heather and Marianne!

Thoughts

Help! With organizational skills for school. Care to share??

What's your field of specialty?

Okay is it just me, but everyone that I speak to has this dream of becoming a nurse anesthetist. I am sooo sick of hearing that! It makes me feel as though I am just jumping on the band wagon with everyone else. I just read a tweet from someone that said, "I just found out that Nurse Anesthetist is the number 4 highest paying job in America; I made the right choice." Uh helllo, shouldn't you already know that? Shouldn't you already be aware of what it takes more so than the pay? Shouldn't you know that more than 50 percent of those who enter the program don't make it through due to stress! Don't you know that it takes more than just wanting to go to anesthesia school, you have to live it! Now, I most certainly am not saying that these people aren't genuine in their thoughts, but for goodness sake, keep it to yourself until you even make it through Nursing school! I am not 100 percent certain that I would want to go into nurse anesthesia, or FNP, babies, oncology, cc, icu, etc. (geriatrics is out because I have already experienced that with my CNA training, and I know that is a no go.) But there is a key word in my statement to know what I have eliminated out for a field of graduate study, and that is experience. I have never experienced the study of anesthesia, nor any other nursing specialties, so I can't completely and honestly say where I'll end up; but come on folks, stop throwing the term "I am going to be a Nurse Anesthetist" around so loosely. Shadow first, experience what it takes, read, read, read, then shadow some more, live it, breathe it, want it! - Then talk to me again!

So, what's your field of interest? (lol) if you dare to tell me now...

Fall Semester - Digging myself a Grave?

Summer is almost over. Can you believe how fast it has gone by? I am looking forward to the fall semester at school. I have that new anxiety again. Like the first day of class, you know it's going to be exciting but it is still nerve racking as all get out. I am jumping into this semester head on, determined to get back on the grind. I don't know why I briefly lost my enthusiasm, lost the zeal I had in the beginning - causing me to lose interest in anything nursing related. BUT WHAAA?? I can't get that feeling out of the pit of my stomach. The knowing of my called existence. Nursing is my life, nursing is my passion. I want this so bad. Then why did I so easily lose focus? I wanted it all now, right now! I didn't want to put any hardwork into it. Where's the reality in that? Is something worth having not worth fighting for? I got scared. Scared of math, scared of science, scared of all the twenty-something new graduates who made me feel like I am too old for all of this. Career change, oh I can't do that. But I can, I can do that. I have a supportive husband, supportive kids, supportive job. How can I not do this? So yes, I have my passion back, it found me. But then again, I never quite lost it. There were plenty of nights that I stalked all of your pages and envied you, wanted to be right where you are, but I am right where I need to be, getting my life together because one day we'll all have thoughts to share, moments to live and wonders of wisdom to express to each other.

So now that the sentimental moment has come and gone, back to the real deal. My schedule for fall will consist of two Saturday classes (really Saturday?? ) Poli Sci- yep wound up dropping it twice! in time for drop/add, but dropped none the less. Science (this is my back door to Anatomy and Phys, in case I can't get Chem anytime soon); and considering I am not the average person that can manage to get to a 2pm class, looks like it may be awhile before I can take Chem. First class begins at 8 am on a frigging Saturday! Next class is 11:45. Only optimistic point to this (which my hubby so graciously pointed out) is that I can have the rest of the Saturday to study and do schoolwork at the library, kid and distraction free!!

I'm also taking 2 online classes; world lit and philosophy. Hoping to get through all of these, before I tackle math and statistics next semester. Am I digging myself a grave?

Sick and Tired

Who else is sick and tired of drama? What ticked you off today? Sound off!

Peachtree Road Race

Hubby and I ran the Peachtree Road Race today. Came in under an hour and a half / 6.2 miles. Not too bad for newbies! It was hot and of course I wore new sneakers like an idiot, so I now have two new friends - blistery one and blistery two. We had so much fun though nothing mattered; well except crossing the dang finish line. Got a t-shirt to prove it!!! We will definitely be doing this next year if we get selected again. I am editing some photos and videos to post from today (hubby and I only brought the digital camera so alot of the footage is shakey - SEIZURE WARNING! Do not watch if you are prone to have seizures from flashing lights, BLURRY PEOPLE WHIZZING BY, etc.)

HAPPY 4th!!!!

                                     

Why does life get in the way...

Of all the plans we "think" we have? Thought for the night. I'll let you sleep on it.

STAY TUNED - I'M COMING BACK! :-)